Saturday, March 9, 2013

Colors


I've been reading Oliver Sacks books this week - I find them very insightful and entertaining. One story in particular got me excited.

This was a story about colorblind painter. Well, apparently he was not at the least colorblind for the first 40 years of his life, managed to build himself prominent career and gained some fame in his chosen profession  but then, after minor accident, lost the ability to see the colors.

 As it is further explained in the book ('An anthropologist on mars'), his 'receptors' - his eyes and his brain's ability to analyze wavelengths of colors was undamaged. However, the part responsible for 'understanding' colors, the one that allows us to recognize colors in context, the one, that apparently, lets us see red apple as red both in fluorescent lights and in the sunset (even though 'physically' we get very different wavelengths on our receptors in those circumstances) got fried.

What got me exited is that I remembered this one day when I was heavily loaded on shrooms and weed, and as I was sitting on a bench staring at the concrete pathway in front of me I realized that I can no longer tell its color or, in fact, its texture. I could not make my mind whether I see sandy path with little gentle slopes, nicely yellowish in color, only made grayish by surrounding twilight - or was it gray concrete path with little shadows from the leaves above, only made slightly yellow in color by bright night lights.

 In a moment, I could no longer tell whether I saw little twigs and pebbles lying on it or crevices and shallow depressions. I stared at the black shapes on a light background but I could no longer tell if they were shadows or some real objects, whether they had depth or none whatsoever.

 As I was trying to made my mind about this, my brain started to flash possible interpretations of this simple scene in front of me in sort of stroboscopic succession. One moment I saw a twig, the other moment I saw a crevice. The pathway was sandy, yellow, blue, gray and then pink and then gray again, in no way helping me to understand what I was seeing.
Granted, I KNEW and remembered that I was looking at concrete pathway, so in my mind I remembered it should be gray. Yet I didn't see it as gray, and what's worse, I could not decide about shadows - in everyday life shadows help us navigate the world greatly. But when 'understanding' of colors gets crazy like this, you suddenly start to mistake dark shapes on the ground for some solid objects.

 This confusion is what Sacks' patient described in detail and I was fascinated by the fact that I can now actually tell what part of my brain was most affected in that trip.
While it was fun and enlightening in many ways, I was actually relieved when this effect was gone in some 10 minutes. As my 'V3' started to operate normally I was able to stand up from the bench and continue my walk.

I am somewhat amused by the fact that now, in retrospect, having read this book, I know what was happening to me back then.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013


Okay, so I have this, ah, part of a shrub crisp dry and ready to go. And since I really need only the tiny ammount to get where I wanna be I am good for at least two weeks. Normally I'd say "for a month" but as it happens, when you have lots, you end up consuming more.

I figured i need to educate myself on the subject, so I'm eating cedar nuts and watching Breaking Bad for the first time. Lucky me.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

So, yes, I did it. I believe it was about 140 kilometers total + snow storm. And that was my 4-th solo drive EVA. I feel so tired  proud ><

Monday, January 14, 2013

Nervous!

This weekend I am to help my friend move to his new apartment  This includes driving a car full of certain plants straight across the city, woo. The catch is, I'm a shitty driver who had just barely got his driving license   a few months ago X)

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Urk?..

Got up relatively early today, but did absolutely nothing with my time. Played some MK with my brother and got my ass handled to me, which got me depressed (normally that wouldn't, BUT, well, normally I don't get beaten by him, neither).
I suppose my 'performance' and mood was greatly affected by my marijuana induced 'trip' if you can call it that  - I was not aware you can actually do that on pot, but wow. Not only that I got some promising creative ideas, but I also found magic lantern - don't tell me now nothing useful ever comes from using drugs.

Useful tools aside I got some fun idea for a story - if I ever start writing again, this is definetly worth a shot.
I doubt the theme is entirely new, but proper form and execution would make it work just the same. And it could be fun. And maybe for a few days I will be able to ponder about this story of mine instead of thinking how I would reply in some stupid discussions online I was not even a part of - I always do that when my mind is not occupied. Sometimes I think about writings as well, but it never leads to any actual work being done since I only roll the words in my mind with no final goal in mind. The fun part about yesterday is that I had seen the idea in its entirety - ending and morals and what have you.

The down side is, that the second part of the trip was rather sad in terms of overall mood. If I was on shrooms, I'd probably end up crying or something. The images of life just slipping away through our fingers, the briefness of it... This picture is responsible:
I think it is amazing in so many ways! Some of them are pretty extreme so I will not express them here.
I should start sketching the way I saw this image in my mind. But i feel lazy so instead I did two panels of that  little comic me and P. had thought about like a year ago.
MAYBE if I finish it she'd be glad enough to come over, so we could fuck -_-
Having just one girlfriend sucks. Having no girlfriends is mostly ok excluding the days you really want to screw somebody.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Coffe















If i had coffee-machine like that  ^ I might have started liking coffee.
Long time ago, being a little child, I found out that even plain water tastes better if you drink it from big expensive glass. Something like that should work as well.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Hello

This here be my blog in English. The goal is mostly self-diagnostic so give it no mind.